Viva Pinata is in your paradise, troubling it (on September 5)

If you’re an overgrown man-child like me, you’ll no doubt be looking forward to the rather gorgeous Viva Piñata: Trouble in Paradise. Microsoft has kindly dated the Rare sequel for us, and fans of candy-stuffed incestuous rabbits can look forward to September 5, unless, of course, any delays rear their loathsome heads.

As well as a date, we now have our grimy claws on some new details as well, including the out-of-garden environments where players are expected to coax and lure Piñata back to their gardens — kind of like pedophilia, only slightly more colorful. If you want some Pengums or Pollybears, for instance, you need to scour the Piñarctic. Similarly, Dessert Desert Camellos and Jameleons need to be found in warmer climates. 

I must say though — Dessert Desert Camellos and Pollybears? They’re reaching already, I fear. Methinks it’s time Rare seriously entertained my Viva Piñarcotics idea.

James Stephanie Sterling