Videogames: They cripple your kids now

It’s time yet again for another scientific study that may or may not prove videogames are detrimental to your health! The mainstream media is lapping up a brand new report that suggests videogame playing can cause physical pain to children, hurting their hands after just an hour a day.

“Around 170 children aged seven to twelve filled out questionnaires about their video game habits. Among the results: The younger the player the more significant the pain,” writes ABC. “Also, those playing an hour or longer a day were more likely to have achy hands.

“Study details are being presented at the American College Of Rheumatology’s annual meeting. It adds to a growing body of research showing video games, PDAs and cell phones can lead to repetitive stress and nerve compression injuries.”

So there you have it. Videogames will make your hands fall off, as well as make your kids gamble, make your kids into killers, make your kids not want to play real guitars, make your kids fat and make them watch filthy sex scenes. Society as we know it is over, baby!