Videogames invented wrestling, use it to kill child

As if you needed any further proof that the media loves to blame tragedy on videogames, this one takes the cake. A young boy died by jumping from a garage roof with a makeshift parachute, possibly imitating one of his favorite wrestlers. However, rather than pin the blame on the WWE, it is instead the WWE Smackdown videogame that is being burdened with responsibility.

Headlines such as, “9-year-old Damori Miles dies in jump off Brooklyn apartment, may have been imitating video game,” or, “Boy fond of video game wrestler’s swan dives makes plastic parachute, takes NY roof death leap,” are lighting up news outlets across America, putting focus on videogames instead of wrestling. To solely blame either of these elements is retarded, but the fact that they’re focusing on videogames and not the thing that the videogames are based on is amazing. 

It’s no surprise that the boy’s mother is trying to blame anything she can on this tragedy, claiming that he was copying “Jeff Harding” from Smackdown (she means Jeff Hardy, the stupid bint). After all, she left the 9-year-old all alone while she went to the store, basically allowing a small child — with special needs, I should add — to do whatever he wants. With a mother that attentive, it seems like this poor kid was doomed to die sooner rather than later.

The biggest shock of all, however, is that the WWE itself makes the most sense out of anyone: “We should allow the authorities to conduct a full investigation … including insecure roof access, before conclusions are made about this unfortunate incident.”

Simply an amazing story all round, and a testament to American media spin. It’s the best in the world.

Jim Sterling