At some point or another you’ve likely sat through one of Uwe Boll’s movies. In this day and age it’s almost a rite of passage for an eager, doe-eyed youngster to have his hopes of an excellent movie of his favorite game dashed. That moment just as the light of optimism and hope fades from their eyes, when you can practically hear their brain clawing it’s way out of their skull via the nasal cavity; yeah that’s the good stuff.
It seems now that my previously staunch atheism is a highly suspect dogma, for only under the watchful eye of a just and loving God could the brutalizer of our favorite franchises have his security blanket (made entirely of $100 bills) yanked from around his shoulders (he wears it like a cape, you see).
Bolll’s recent appalling effort, In The Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (which cost $70 million to make), did so badly (bringing in $3 million over the weekend) that he is now without the funds to keep making big budget movies. Previously Boll had funded his films through a German tax shelter, displaying a surprising level of intelligence in the process, which have since been banned, leaving Boll budget-less. But don’t sound the victory trumpets just yet.
In spite of the fact that his career is issuing its death rattle Boll seems unperturbed:
“In the future, I will focus on small films such as (the video game adaptation) ‘Postal’ or (the Vietnam war drama) ‘Tunnel Rats,’ ” he said. “These are films that represent my true passion, and they can be done with small budgets.”
You’ve got to hand it to the man, in spite of his body of work being labeled complete garbage by the majority of it’s intended audience and thus setting off the ruination of his career, he’s just as tenacious as ever.