Uhh, come check out Conan Exiles’ big swingin’ dicks

Dick GIFs > Dick pics

In the opening minutes of sandbox survival game Conan Exiles, your character is strung up to a cross before he is fortuitously saved by Conan himself. But, in those precious moments before, you get to customize yourself mid-crucifixion. That’s when Conan Exiles unleashes the dick slider.

Although it’s tastefully called “Endowment,” the dick slider wiggles the wang to and fro as you decide exactly how much to endow yourself. Be warned that the rest of this article is probably NSFW if you work somewhere that frowns upon dumb video game cock and balls GIFs. (Me? I work somewhere that actively encourages me to seek them out.)

Friend of the site Hayden Dingman is playing the Early Access version of Conan Exiles. Here’s him showing off that dick slider:

Here’s him doing some naked squats in the sand:

In a message from Hayden, he told me “My dick is just flopping all over the place as I run.” Conan Exiles: Good Game.

Brett Makedonski
While you laughing, we're passing, passing away. So y'all go rest y'all souls, 'Cause I know I'ma meet you up at the crossroads. Y'all know y'all forever got love from them Bone Thugs baby...