Turok Achievements unveiled: they’re promoting team-killing now?

After the jump you’ll find the just-released list of Achievements for the Xbox 360 version of the upcoming blood, guts n’ dinos FPS Turok. Normally this wouldn’t even blip on our radar of actual, useful news but something about this list sticks out like a bloody limb that once belonged to your best friend. Have a look:

Grab Bag 10

Kill at least 1 creature, 1 enemy, 1 teammate, and yourself in the same

round of a public match

We ask that those of you literate enough to read the above text help those who aren’t as educated, but for those of you who are both stupid and lonely, I’ll put this as simply as possible: Turok rewards players for murdering their own team members!

This is the point at which I realize even with bold-face font, illiterate readers of this site still probably couldn’t read that text, nor could they read these words I’m typing currently … or any of this site for that matter. If you’re illiterate, what the hell are you doing on the Internet? We don’t even have any pictures of cooters or adorable kittens on this page.

Idiot.

     
Triple Kill 20
Kill 3 opponents within 4 seconds of each other in a ranked match
Thorn in Side 20
Kill the Flag carrier 5 times in a ranked match
Co-Op 1 30
Finish Co-op Map 1
Co-Op 2 30
Finish Co-op Map 2
Co-Op 3 30
Finish Co-op Map 3
Hometown Hero 25
Return 5 Flags to your base in one public game
Arch-Nemesis 15
Kill the same player 5 times in a row without killing anyone else in between during a public match
Crack Shot 15
Kill 5 opponents in a public game with headshots
Accuracy Award 20
Achieve an accuracy of 75% or greater with at least 20 shots fired in one ranked match
Great Round 15
Finish a public DM match with a Battle Rating of greater than 100
Grab Bag 10
Kill at least 1 creature, 1 enemy, 1 teammate, and yourself in the same round of a public match
Unbreakable 30
Play through a ranked match without dying
Pacifist 15
Play a public match with no shots fired or kills awarded, capturing the flag at least twice
Dino Hunter 15
Kill 20 Dinos in one public game
Exterminator 15
Kill 20 Bugs in one public game
Resurrection 15
Finish a player match free-for-all game with at least 10 deaths and 10 kills
Gamesman 15
Play a full round of each gametype in public or private matches
Retribution 15
Knife kill your Rival in a public match
Primitive Weapons 15
Play a public match using only the bow or knife, earning at least 10 kills
All-Purpose Warrior 30
Win 10 public games of each team game option (Small Team, Large Team, Co-Op)
Medal of Citation 25
Achieve 100 player kills in ranked matches
Medal of Commendation 50
Achieve 500 player kills in ranked matches
Boomstick 10
Destroy a dilo with the stickygun during a public match
Arsenal 20
Kill at least one enemy with every weapon in the game during public play
Massive Battle 10
Participate in a public 6 on 6 team game
Buddy Blowout 20
Play a full 8 on 8 private team game
Multiplayer First-Class 35
Finish a ranked match with 100% accuracy and at least 5 kills
Multiplayer Master-Class 40
Finish a ranked match with all headshots and at least 5 kills
Practically Canadian 20
How aboot defending your flag, eh? And that’s in ranked matches, sorry.
Big Game Ribbon 20
Whoa momma!
Angler Ribbon 20
Fishing anyone?
Sell Your Shotguns 35
Complete “Mother Superior” without using the ORO Shotgun
Dino Dominance 25
Knife kill 50 creatures in the Story Mode campaign
Turok Service Ribbon 40
Complete the Story Mode campaign and unlock Inhuman difficulty
Turok Campaign Ribbon 60
Complete the Story Mode campaign on Inhuman
Sniper! 40
Head shot 10 enemies in a row during the Story Mode campaign
Impaler Ribbon 10
Pin an enemy to the wall with an arrow in the Story Mode campaign
Turok Defense Force 25
Successfully fight off 20 Raptor mauls during the Story Mode campaign
It’s A Trap! 15
Get dinos to kill 5 soldiers by sticking them with the flare in the Story Mode campaign
Loud Love 15
Kill 3 soldiers with one ORO Copperhead Rocket Launcher shot in the Story Mode campaign
5, 4, 3, 2, 1… BOOM! 15
Kill 3 Soldiers with one Frag Grenade in the Story Mode campaign
Pincushion 25
Pin 50 enemies with the Bow in the Story Mode campaign
Man or Animal 30
Record 100 stealth kills of soldiers with the ORO P23 Combat Knife
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.