Toad is a big gay? That’s news to me

It turns out that Toad (of Super Mario Bros) is gay. That’s news to me. I always figured with his gruff voice and his Aladdin-style shirtless vest look that he’d be straight. A ladies man, even. He rolls with the hottest girl in the land. Hello.

That’s not what ScrewAttack thinks, though. Apparently Toad moisturizes and does ballet. I wouldn’t label either choice particularly gay, but it may be that ScrewAttack’s gaydar is more sensitive than mine. “Fungay.” I see what you guys did there.

Wait. What’s wrong with having the entire collection of Golden Girls on DVD? Could that mean that….no. No.

*moisturizes*

Dale North