Those Mario flavors at Yogurtland are delizzle, fo shizzle

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Plus I got a Yoshi spizzle!

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I’m always hesitant when it comes to my favorite video game characters ending up in food and drinks. In my younger days, I threw caution to the wind and threw just about anything and everything directly into my mouth. Sadly, those years of culinary debauchery have finally caught up with me and my stomach now vetoes approximately 70% of my food options. That means no Super Mario fruit snacks, no Super Mario SpaghettiO’s and (worst of all), no Super Mario mac & cheese.

The one treat I’m thankfully still able to enjoy is frozen yogurt and it’s something I indulge in at least twice a month. On my most recent trip to the neighborhood Yogurtland, I remembered the company had teamed up with Nintendo for a series of special Super Mario flavors. Naturally, I had to try them all.

To my disappointment, as I walked through the green pipe and piranha plant painted glass doors, I found there were only three flavors available: Mario’s Chocolate Gelato, Toad’s Rocky Road, and Yoshi’s Honeydew. As someone who can’t stand the taste of any melon, I decided I would just sample Yoshi’s and dive tongue first into the other two. Wanting to only experience the purity of each flavor, I sacrificed the best part of any trip to the yogurt shop: toppings. No sprinkles, no nuts, no cookie dough. I even skipped over the chocolate pirouettes, which is kind of a big deal as my expansive waistline is proof I usually have very little willpower when it comes to resisting those pieces of Pepperidge perfection.

With one cup in hand, I split the Toad and Mario flavors side-by-side, grabbed my Yoshi spoon and dug right in. Yogurtland uses words like “decadent” and “creamy” to describe Mario’s Chocolate Gelato and that description pretty much hits it right on the nose. It’s chocolate alright, but not your regular, cheap candy bar chocolate. No, this is the type of full-bodied, ambrosial chocolate found in restaurant desserts people take three bites of before saying, “Oh, it’s too rich for me.” What does chocolate have to do with Mario? Outside of the various choco-themed levels and race tracks he’s traversed, pretty much nothing, but you can’t go wrong with a classic.

You can do better though and that’s exactly what Toad’s Rocky Road did. I was surprised by how well it recreated the taste of actual Rocky Road, my favorite type of ice cream growing up. Chocolate, almonds, marshmallows — they’re all there. I could have enjoyed an entire cup of that sans toppings it was so good. And again, what does Rocky Road have to do with Toad? Nothing really, though you can play as Toad in Mario Party 6 with its Shy Guy driving mini-game that shares its name with this delicious dish of frozen goodness.

When I finished my cup and licked the last of the yogurt from my spoon, I found the flavor I was unable to get out of my head was actually the Yoshi Honeydew. The tiny amount available in those sample size cups was enough to satiate my taste buds. I expected it to be fruity like a sorbet but was delighted it had the richness in texture of regular frozen yogurt. I can’t tell if the fact I have chocolate every other day played a part in making me think that way, but I do know I’ll be getting an entire cup of Yoshi on my next trip. 

If you want to try these and the other flavors to come, the Yogurtland and Nintendo Game On campaign lasts through September 8.

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CJ Andriessen
Editor-at-Large – CJ has been a contributor to Destructoid since 2015, originally writing satirical news pieces before transitioning into general news, features, and other coverage that was less likely to get this website sued.