This video is proof that Liu Kang has a background story

I tried to watch this video, but it made no sense at all. I’ll try to summarize what I think it tried to tell me.

Liu Kang was born a Chinese orphan in The Netherlands nine months after the post-WWI sex orgies in 1919. As he entered puberty, he started studying the secret martial arts of clog combat at the monestary of the Shaolin Society of the Clog. Sadly, he received a severe injury when a clog hit his lower regions during training for his black belt. After doctors had to remove his testes to save his life, Liu Kang went through years of teasing because of his shrill high-pitched voice.

Life was not easy for Liu Kang during those years, but he found his passion in bicycle riding. Whenever he had a chance to skip school, you could find him cycling all over the countryside! He even started to train on his bicycle as part of the “hidden clog kick” technique he was developing, in order to show his master that he was ready to become a worthy Clog Warrior of Shaolin.

But things took a turn for the worse when the Nazis invaded and stole all of the countries bicycles! Without his bike, Liu had to improvise and calm himself to the point where he reached a level of understand that surpassed even that of his great master. Using the knowledge of Shaolin clog fighting, he was able to extract the chi of the clog, and use it to set its energy ablaze in the direction of his Nazi foes.

However, as his attacks on the invaders escalated, this proved to be ineffective against the enemy’s Panzer tanks. Only one, desperate path lay open for Liu Kang on a fateful day that will rest in infamy. Combining the chi of the clogs with the insights into gravimetric physics he learned during his school’s only obligatory class — which is why all people there are so tall — he managed to become the bicycle he once held dear! Thus, the bicycle kick was born, and Liu Kang rode his kicks all the way to Berlin within a day.

That, or what the video said.

About The Author
Maurice Tan
More Stories by Maurice Tan