The PSN Facebook Page: Your new source of facepalm

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If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this whole PlayStation Network downtime, it’s that console fanboys, stupid as they are, can always get more stupid. This has been proven on the PlayStation Network Facebook Page, which has been a terrific source of free entertainment since the PSN went offline. 

Actually, scratch that. It’s not free, per se. It comes at the cost of your sanity and faith in humankind. However, that may be a negligible price to pay if you’re a big fan of watching idiots embarrass themselves online. 

Something dumb is written on this page at least once every six minutes. What follows is a mere example of choice cuts.

dear playstation, yur still better than a white green box that happens 2 get a red ring if played 4 2 hours, take yur time cleaning yur system, at least we dont have 2 pay 4 online. XBOX = fail PS3 = # Winning

Where to start? The grammar? The use of #winning weeks after it stopped being relevant? The direct comparison between a system not working and an entire network of 77 million users with compromised personal data? It’s all gold!

HAHAHA NORTH AMERICA WILL BE ON FIRST BECAUSE OF THE AMOUT OF USERS LOL!!!! FUCK YOU REST OF THE WORLD

A common theme on the page is an amazingly mercenary attitude exhibited by the users. Most of them seem to delight in the idea of PSN not being available to certain people, be they in Japan, Europe or North America. So much for a united front. 

xbox 4 kids you know not 4 us the psn ……………………. you know

There are my favorites. The one where you feel the poster just had a car crash in his head, and this one mangled sentence was all that had been recovered from the wreckage.

I think he’s trying to say that the Xbox is for children and the PSN is for adults, but the fact that he has not exhibited a single shred of adult-grade intelligence with this post seems to indicate otherwise ………………………… you know.

R U FUCKING SHIT PSN U NEED TO GET SUM NEW EMPLOYEES CUS IF UR WORKING 24/7 UR A BUNCH OF SLOTHS AND U CAN FINGER UR DADS BUMOLES

It’s not just pro-Sony fanboys who are clogging up the page with their gibbering insanity. Occasionally, you get a wonderfully angry post from someone who doesn’t feel Sony should be exonerated of all responsibility. Unfortunately, their levels of eloquence are indistinguishable from the other side of the debate, so you get posts like this. Now excuse me while I finger my dad’s bumhole. 

like this if u think sony should give us psychatrist to remove all the frustration we have gone through this 11 days

These ones, I like. The ones that truly give us a glimpse into the fractured, frail psyche of a fanboy. To some, the PSN downtime is more than an inconvenience — it’s an emotional ordeal. Only Facebook Likes will be able to repair their shattered soul!

Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring! Without PSN life is Boring!

Go outside. Read a book. Play Angry Birds. Masturbate. Talk to some real human beings. That’s just a small sample of things one could be doing while the PlayStation Network is down. I just tried to imagine a world where PSN is the sole source of entertainment in the world, and I cried.

U FUCKING PRICKS, GIVE ME THE COD MAP PACKS AT LEAST U FUCKING MUSLIMES

Muslimes?

 hey sony fan boys! You guys are fucking losers. How can you defend a company that had its security coded by a 12 year old? You also don’t mind that Sony lied to your face for a week when it failed to mention the cause of the attacks. And you guys defend them. Have your free downloads this week because you guys have no fucking content anyway. You pay for nothing, and you shall receive nothing my friends.

Like I said, the anti-Sony side of the debate is no more intellectual than the pro. While this guy started with a potentially valid question about people defending an almighty screw-up, he just gets dumber and dumber until any sense that his argument could have made are lost in the mire.

I like to imagine he started out with a brain, but the more he typed, the more stupid he became, infected by the rampant idiocy already prevalent on the page. PSN’s Facebook page is where sentient thought goes to die. 

PSN !! :OO

It’s Been 2 Weeks ! :O

i Need you N Miss you Moore than any Chick !! :O 😛

Wanna Play BLACK OPS N hot Pursuit Online ! 😀 🙂

PSN, better than chicks. 

funny how the day binladen dies psn network is goin up thr next day … i think binladen is the leader of the cyber attacks and al quieda:’)

A huge number of posts are talking about Bin Laden’s death, most of them echoing the already tired, “See what American can do when PSN is down” joke. This one was just adorably moronic though. 

PEOPLE THAT DONT EVEN OWN A PS3 CAN GTFO THIS PAGE N GOOO F**K YOURSELVES……LAME ASSES……MUTHA FUCKA JUST PISSED CAUSE THEY PAY FOR CRAP….AND GETS NO FUCKIN FRE SHIT….X-BOX IS A F**KIN JOKE….

I love the ones who feel the need to swear in all-caps, but have the good grace to censor themselves. Except when they say MUTHA FUCKA. Apparently that’s cool.

PSN DIDNT GET HACKED THEY SHUT THE SERVERS DOWN SO THEY WOULDNT GET HACKED

Logic bomb, bitches!

psn can suck on chinese nuts xbox is better

Much to my chagrin, I have never sucked on Chinese nuts. That delicacy has, thus far, eluded me. If anybody reading this has sucked on Chinese nuts, can you please let us know if they taste somehow worse than the nuts of any other nationality?

I’m trying to see what effect the Chineseness of the nuts will have on the experience of the sucker. 

People said it would be back on today but there just chat shit to make them selfs look good fuking fat neerdy vergins! why lie

Apparently this dude really loves the letter “e”. 

I THINK IT WAS THAT LITTLE BIEBER CUNT WHO HACKED IT HE CANT SING SO HE HAD TO TRY GET MONEY SOME HOW 

Because not being able to sing has been a big barrier to making money out of the music industry in recent years. Seriously though, there’s a significant amount of Bieber hate on the page, leading me to wonder if they legitimately think he had something to do with it. Wouldn’t surprise me if they did, at this rate. 

Every one calm down, it will be back later this week but in the mean time find some thing fun to do like shooting gays and smoking pot.

That’s Andre Goldson there, being a homophobic little fuckpuppet. 

60 year ago America would have just kicked off invaded Japan took pSN for themselves and it would have been back on line in 4 years

What is this I don’t even …

im leaving this page now but evryone in here are no life dumb fags who no shit and go of there own thoughts instead of looking things up and they have sheep following them behind

Of course, while he wrote this, he was still technically on the page, therefore he too is a no life dumb fag who no shit go of there own thoughts instead of looking things up and he has sheep following him behind. Wait, what?

Hey God shits

I did not know this about God. Learn something new about the guy every day. 

I hope the person who hacked psn hacks xbox live but for twice as long!!

Like I said earlier, the mercenary attitude is quite amazing, and the fact that someone hopes that other gamers get fucked over on the same level as PSN users is pretty damn sad. Not least for those with both PSN and Xbox Live accounts who would then be double fucked. It’s pretty sad that gamers wish for bad shit to happen to other gamers. Truly, have we gone away from having simple fun with our videogames when we get into that kind of miserable behavior. 

ben laden was killed himself because psn is down since too long time

This? This may be the greatest fucking sentence ever written in the history of human civilization. Seriously, I think that pretty much says everything that needs to be said. 


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