Super Mario Bros. ‘warp pipe’ pot plants anger UK residents

The single biggest problem facing England

The residents of English town Walsall have levied complaints at their local council over the implementation of 15 enormous plant pots, which bear more than a striking resemblance to the “warp pipes” of the Super Mario series. While this is obviously a positive boon to any city, some members of the Always Pleased British public are unhappy with the “eyesores.”

According to local newspaper Birmingham Mail, the Walsall council was asked to slash £29 million from its budget, which is leading residents to question why taxpayer cash has been splashed on the admittedly huge installations, which have been situated throughout the quiet market town. Rumors that running across Walsall’s rooftops allows you to skip a few worlds are yet to be verified.

“We’ve had so many shop closures in the last few years and the best thing the council can come up with is these garish monstrosities,” said local florist Andrea Loveridge to the Birmingham Mail, before cementing her point with delighfully old-school phrase “It beggars belief.”

[photo credit: Anita Maric / SWNS]

Jesting aside, the British high street is in a terrible state. Retail was already in trouble and the COVID-19 pandemic only brought further costs and losses to ailing businesses. However much these plant pots cost, there were certainly more pressing matters at the heart of Walsall’s high street — such as lowering shop rents and rates as struggling retailers aim to get back on their feet post-lockdown.

“Walsall Council has been awarded £750k each for Bloxwich and Walsall Town centres to make early interventions, building momentum towards the main ‘Towns Fund’ bid,” defended Walsall Councillor Adrian Andrew. “The work in Walsall Town Centre is intended to deliver a range of improvements to promote a feeling of well-being and safety and enhance the town centre environment and a key element of this work was to introduce more planting into the town centre to create a more social space outside the Walsall Art Gallery.”

We reached out to Bowser Koopa for comment, but all he offered was “Don’t vote Tory.”

Chris Moyse
Senior Editor - Chris has been playing video games since the 1980s. Former Saturday Night Slam Master. Graduated from Galaxy High with honors.