SSBB: Pit’s Descent: Every time you touch your Wii, an angel gets its wings

And you thought the well of Nintendo-based penis euphemisms had run dry!

The above video is the latest snippet of media from Nintendo’s upcoming Super Smash Bros. Brawl and apparently it shows off a bit of the title’s story mode. While it lacks any discernable plot points, useful info or gameplay, it shows off the title’s rumored ability to make Nintendophiles piss their pants with joy over the slightest bit of information on a title that is functionally a rehash of a game we’ve been playing for almost a decade now.

For those of you who lack eyes or kindly friends to interpret the onscreen action here’s a quick recap of what takes place: Angel meets girl, girl gives angel deadly weapon, angel jumps out of a glowing door, appears to plummet to his death, remembers that he can fly and uses his wings to slow his descent towards what we assume is a thing — possibly an awesome thing. I’m sure someone more in touch with just how amazingly revelatory this video is will chime in to correct me on the fact that Pit is, in fact, flying towards Fox McCloud’s mother’s home to deliver a tin of cookies shaped like Revolver Ocelot, but until that time, let’s all just bask in the glory that is the tiny crumbs of information Nintendo sees fit to grace us with.

Thank you Nintendo-san! May I have another? 

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.