Square Enix makes up its own currency with ‘Crysta’

Square Enix has gone one step further in its plot to become the most pretentious game publisher in the world, trademarking its own magical currency for real-world transactions. The worst part is, it’s not even Gil! It’s some flowery and awful-sounding moon money called Crysta, and if you’re buying from Squenix in Japan, you need it. 

Following in the tradition of Microsoft and Wii Points, Crysta will be required for online Japanese games like Party Castle and Fantasy Earth Zero. It’s also the only way for players to obtain soundtracks from Squenix’s E-Store. One imagines that, if successful, Crysta will bleed into other Square Enix games. 

Here’s the stupid part, though: one Crysta exactly equals one Yen. That’s right, Crysta is just Japan’s normal currency, but rebranded. This essentially means that Crysta’s sole purpose is to confuse people and add an extra, totally unnecessary step to the online transaction process. Hilarious. 

This is the point at which online toy money jumps the shark.