Spending $100 at the Square Enix Store gets you a mask and that’s pretty weird, right?

‘Boost your vitality +1’

Want to support a major publisher and adhere to CDC-approved COVID-19 guidelines at the same time? Square Enix is running an ill-advised, grim, and kinda-weird promotion that fits all the criteria.

Square Enix sent an email today announcing that anyone who spends $100 or more at the Square Enix Store will get a free face mask included with their order. There are asterisks next to the word “free” because the mask isn’t free at all. Here’s the email we were sent:

“Boost your vitality +1” is how it’s phrased because what is life besides an arduous role-playing game? The depressing subtext is that you can stay healthy by spending $100 on video games and video game merchandise. Maybe just throwing in a mask with every order would’ve looked less opportunistic.

(For what it’s worth, the link in the email doesn’t take you directly to any landing page for the promotion. There’s a chance Square Enix has already pulled it and scrubbed all mentions from the store.)

Meanwhile, over the weekend, Square Enix sold 54 Eidos games on Steam for $40 with all the money going to charity. Sometimes companies make good decisions, and sometimes companies make bad decisions.

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Brett Makedonski
While you laughing, we're passing, passing away. So y'all go rest y'all souls, 'Cause I know I'ma meet you up at the crossroads. Y'all know y'all forever got love from them Bone Thugs baby...
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