Something About Sex: Why I’m not getting it, in game or out

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This may surprise you, but I, a member on a videogame Web site in his mid-twenties, am a virgin.

I’ll give that a moment to sink in.

But you see, it isn’t exactly what it seems. Because in this case, its by choice. I’m proud to say that the opportunity has come around multiple times, and I’ve always chosen to walk away. This includes both real life, and in game. Not because I find it somehow morally objectionable, or because girls are gross (which they are).

Its because my virginity, in both realms, deserves something better than the choices I’ve been given. 

Somehow, I always find myself with undesirable women. The kind of girl who does absolutely nothing to stimulate me intellectually, nor sexually. I’m not saying I have high standards (I do), but I’ve yet to find a woman who I truly find enjoyable to be around. Although I’m not some kind of religious or spiritual fanatic, I do have some moral values. My virginity is one of them.

I want my first time to be special. I want it to be something I will remember for the rest of my life, and to be proud of the experience. I’ve heard too many stories of people who had made a mistake on their first go-around. Whether it was to someone who was disloyal, diseased, or in some cases, a prostitute, there are many reasons for one to regret their first time.

That’s when sex in games come in. Just as I choose not to plant my seed until I find the right field, I do the same in the game world. My virtual seed, if you will. One of my favorite examples is Grand Theft Auto. I don’t pick up hookers and have sex with them in my car in a dark alley only to kill them and take my money back.

Well, just once. But that doesn’t count, does it?

But, that is just one of a small handful of reasons. You see, alternatively, you have the option as a side quest to progress through a relationship with someone. I chose not to for a few reasons. One of them being, she just wasn’t my type.

In many games, you are encouraged to pursue the story in the character’s eyes. To do what they would do. But as players, we can’t help but interject a bit of ourselves into our protagonist. That’s what makes games so relevant to us. And although Denise may be CJ’s type, she isn’t mine.

Although the two universes aren’t entirely parallel, as I can always “do one-player” in real life. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to come across a solid fapping simulator in a game so far. But hey, there’s always new frontiers for the gaming industry to traverse, right?

Another reason I chose not to pursue this relationship is that I was too busy with the main story. Because I was so focused on my main goals, optional things like sex and relationships were not a priority. This too, is a perfect parallel to reality. I’m just too busy trying to achieve other things in my life that are more important to me. Sex isn’t one of them.

Until I can accomplish all of my needs to progress, through game or life, my wants will have to take a backseat.

Alas, my princess will come. For some day, I will play a game that has the woman of my dreams. And that game will let me fuck her brains out. But until that day comes, just as in reality, I shall remain a videogame virgin.

This promoted blog was written for our March Monthly Musing assignment, “Write something about sex.” You too could get promoted if you write something about sex in videogames over on the Community Blogs.