Oh dear god, why???
My first experience with the world of weird ass pregnancy flash games was when my young niece stumbled upon a Frozen Pregnant Elsa game while Googling for Frozen videos, I was admittedly a little weirded out that such a game existed, but I didn’t think too much of it. Today, I realized that the weird pregnancy flash game genre may have gone too far while my back was turned.
In Pregnant Minion Game you play as a doctor attending to this weirdly dolled up pregnant lady Minion. I don’t remember ever seeing female Minions in Despicable Me, certainly not ones in pigtails and a crop top struggling under the weight of an imminent birth.
So, tasked with tending to this unholy abomination, I got to work. I first x-ray’d the womb, learning that her infant child was a stock image of a Minion cuddly toy. I’m sure she’s going to be so proud when she gives birth to this inanimate smiling bundle of joy.
Next I gave her a dose of mystery pregnancy helper pills. I say pills, but they dripped out the bottle as a liquid. I’m guessing someone switched out the contents of the bottle, God knows what I gave her.
I then checked her temperature, which was running a little high. I fixed this by dabbing her head with a cold damp towel. As we all know, this is a great long term solution to her fever.
Lastly, I gave her some aerated medication through a lovely gas mask, after which the pregnancy was deemed a success.
She had not given birth yet, but apparently my job as doctor was done. Have fun giving birth to your unmoving plush action figure baby Mrs. Minion; you’re on your own from here.