Someone at ThinkGeek really enjoyed Portal 2

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ThinkGeek is making good use of its licensing agreement with Valve by introducing nine Portal 2-themed products. We’re a little obsessed with the game as well, so it’s all good.

I was quite certain nothing would top the ridiculousness of the talking Cave Johnson portrait, but we have a new king: “military-grade” shower curtains. There’s even a video demonstration!

Take a look for yourself. The rest of the line-up includes a Companion Cube cookie jar, cookie cutters, bookends, an adorable plush turret, LED flashlights, and a PotatOS Science Kit. A couple of items are listed as being “available soon,” though one can assume everything will be ready in time for the holidays.

●     Aperture Laboratories Shower CurtainAt long last, fans of Aperture Laboratories can put their hands on the product that started it all: military-grade shower curtains.  ThinkGeek presents gamers with their very own Aperture Science shower curtain to transform their bathroom into a test chamber.  This collectible curtain is available now for $19.99.

●     Portal Companion Cube Cookie Jar – A replica of the Weighted Companion Cube that makes a prominent appearance as an inanimate, but lovable, puzzle solving device in the original Portal.  Available soon for $29.99.

●     Portal Cookie Cutters Of course, a cookie jar without cookies is like an empty test chamber in your soul.  So fill up your new Companion Cube Cookie Jar with delicious treats inspired by the “warning signs” featured in the game.  The Portal Cookie Cutters feature an all metal construction and come in a collectible Companion Cube tin.  Available now for $19.99.

●     Portal Bookends 4”x5” solid metal bookends to maintain the vertical orientation your impressive collection of science textbooks.  One end shows the Portal test subject icon entering through an orange entry portal, while the other end shows him exiting through a blue exit portal.  Available now for $29.99.

●     Portal 2 Plush Turret with Sound A classic character from Portal video game series, this Turret features motion detection, light, sound and vibration. When sensing motion, the Portal 2 Plush Turret reacts with voice and simulated machine gun fire. To “disable” it, you just tip it over like you would in the game.  Start assembling your Turret army for just $34.99.

●     Wheatley LED Flashlight A 2” tall version of the smart talking Wheatley character, simply push a button, and a super-bright LED flashlight emanates from Wheatley’s “eye” to illuminate your surroundings. Available now for $19.99.

●     Portal 2 PotatOS Science Kit – Create your own GLaDOS with a PotatOS Science Kit including electronic talking GLaDOS module. You provide the potato and some simple assembly.  Even Wheatley could do it.  Available soon for $29.99.

●     Portal Turret LED Flashlight with SoundStanding just 3” tall, this intricately detailed replica of the Turret enemies will light your way with a red LED beam, emanating from the Turret’s eye.  With a push of the button on the side, you can hear the turret talk, just like in the game. Available now for $24.99.

●     Portal 2 Cave Johnson Talking PortraitThe most amazing man ever, Cave Johnson, founder of Aperture, repeats his famous motivational quotes from Portal 2. Suitable decoration for any room or test chamber in your home.  Available now for $39.99.


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Jordan Devore
Jordan is a founding member of Destructoid and poster of seemingly random pictures. They are anything but random.