Socom snack pack

Kindly Dtoid reader Jayeugene sent us a picture of the above “gamer snack pack” from Zipper Interactive, which inevitably leads me to the question: What kind of obscure foreign crack are these f*cking marketing people smoking? What kind of game tie-in is this supposed to be? What does powdered lemon lime electolyte drink have to do with Socom? You know, I’m so in the mood for Naval Special Warfare Command today, but before I get on that, I need … a fruit bar? I’m not sure if Zipper realized beforehand that there’s nothing like a fruit bar in the middle of combat to make a man look like a hungry wuss. The Navy doesn’t breed pussies, Zipper. Stop trying to make us look bad. Next time send a clip and a bloody arm. I’ll eat that.

Colette Bennett