Any excuse to simp, am I right?
It’s another Valentine’s Day in quarantine, which means it’s another Valentine’s Day alone for a lot of us. What we do have, though, is access to plenty of video games, and that got me thinking about my sexiest video game characters, or more specifically, what I think are the sexiest video game voices. Anyone can create a hunky beefcake or a busty blonde of a character model, but for me, so much of what makes certain video game characters sexy is their voices.
I can’t let the sultry tones of these standout performances go unnoticed, so here’s my list of the sexiest video game voices out there.
1. Meg from Hades
Hades is chalked full of sexy character designs and voices, but the standout for me was Megara. I have a thing for low, gravelly voices, what can I say? Plus there was the whole negging thing that I usually hate, but really got me in a tizzy when it comes to her. There were lots of fun romance options in this game, but there was no contest when it came to my playthrough: it had to be Meg.
2. Booker from BioShock Infinite
Booker was one of my first video game crushes. Everything about his character design is appealing to me, with the obvious exception of him being a mass murderer. Gaming is packed to the brim with DILFs, but Booker is really top tier in my opinion. Infinite is a first-person game, so don’t get to see much of him at all during its run time — that means his voice has to do a lot of the heavy lifting when it comes to making him sexy, and as questionably as Troy Baker has been behaving recently, I can’t discount the performance he gave when making this game.
3. Garrus from Mass Effect
I’m gonna level with you guys — the prospect of being able to smash some aliens in Mass Effect is like 70% of why I decided to play those games, and I do mean in a sexy way. As soon as I got to meet the cast, Garrus was at the top of my list. He’s already got a leg up as being the least annoying squad member in my opinion, and there’s something about the voice effects they put on him that really does something for me. I was a bit disappointed to learn that I don’t get to smash him until the second game, but it gives me something to look forward to.
4. Chloe from Uncharted
The low, gravelly voice is back, and I can’t get enough of it. Chloe was introduced to the Uncharted series as another potential love interest for Nate, and as much as I love Elena, I would have gone for Chloe every time. She’s flirty, adventurous, and has one of the best voices in a series full of incredible voice talent. Like Booker, Chloe was one of my first video game crushes, so I’ll always hold a special place in my heart for her.
5. Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption 2
You know what else I have a thing for? Cowboys. And Arthur Morgan is just about as sexy as they come, vocally speaking. I mean I guess that is how you talk, isn’t it? Anyway, Arthur’s got it all — the southern accent, the twang, the grit. He may not be reinventing the idea of how cowboys sound, but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. He’s giving us quintessential southern American country boy, and as someone who thinks this accent is criminally underrated in talks of supposed sexiness, I’m kind of obsessed with it.
6. Lady Dimitrescu from Resident Evil Village
Another entry on this list that’s kind of a given. I think I’m in the minority of people who feel the height thing just doesn’t do it for them, but I have to admit that her voice is among the sexier I’ve heard from a video game character. Lady D has a certain poshness to her voice, which is a nice contrast to some of the other more rugged characters I have on this list. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still terrified of her and this game, but I have to admit that there’s something about her voice that I’m really drawn to.
7. Boxer from Transistor
Boxer technically doesn’t have a name within the world of Transistor, but it’s what fans affectionately call him, so it’s what I’m gonna go with, too. I made a point to talk about the amazing voicework Logan Cunningham did in this role in my column about Transistor, because it’s one of my favorite vocal performances in a game ever (and I also happen to think it’s the sexiest).
It’s ironic that Boxer is on this list, because in the game he’s basically only a voice. There’s also just something so romantic about his relationship with Red in the game, although whatever it is we don’t really know. Either way, it’s making me want to replay Transistor today, in the spirit of the holiday.
Well, that’s my list for Valentine’s Day. Do you agree with my picks? What do you think are some of the sexiest voices in video games? Let’s discuss in the comments!
