Resident Evil: Extinction trailer: NEMESIS RULES BARTER TOWN!

It would be redundant of me to go over the entire history of game-to-movie adaptations to prove to each of you mathematically why this movie will suck, but I find it interesting that film companies are demonstrating a new strategy in order to avoid a quick exit from theaters with this latest RE film: completely changing the plot of the games to suit their own needs. Sure, the thing still has zombies, it’s got evil crows, and it has the obligatory phallocentric tentacle guy, but otherwise the whole thing resembles Mad Max 4 as envisioned by a drunk George Romero.

I don’t recall the parts of the Resident Evil series where we had to reconstitute our urine for the precious water it holds or dig a sand cave to protect our pale skin from the harsh sun, but I have always been a proponent of adding a cage fight with a gigantic mongoloid.

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.