And now, a list of important tips and choice cutlets of juicy wisdom. Sage advice that will not only enable you to make the most of your weekend, but may indeed set you on the right path, aid you in any number of varyingly difficult decisions, and in certain cases, perhaps even save your very life.

  • He who eats nails for breakfast is often torn to ribbons on the inside. 
  • Stay to the right on the stairs.
  • High fructose corn syrup is just a fancy word for AIDS.
  • Bears can climb trees.
  • The five-second rule is still valid, and still applies.
  • Topher Cantler is not as stupid as he looks.

Remember these and the road ahead will prove itself far less treacherous than you might anticipate. Hit the jump and let’s get to it.


For your Fridaying pleasure, musical Usavich in cel-shaded flavor.

Sadly, this is the last available episode of the series before the video quality turns to shit. When new ones are available in a condition that won’t make our eyes fall out I’ll return to posting them, but until then you can expect something different for a while. 
Shit’s gettin’ interesting if you’re paying attention.

Topher Cantler