Pro gamers wear giant cotton onesies

Apparently

What’s your go-to wardrobe for long gaming sessions? I default to a pair of basketball shorts and a soft t-shirt when I’m just lounging around. Little do I know that I’ll never be a pro gamer with that half-assed approach.

SteelSeries has created the perfect outfit for gaming, and dubbed it the “Pro Gaming Suit.” It’s a cotton/polyester onesie that zips from neck to crotch. According to the product description, it is made of both “100% win” and it’s “100% awesome.”

As SteelSeries describes it, the onesie “takes the hassle out of your daily grind.” You don’t need to decide what to wear anymore — the onesie does it for you. Were you thinking about wearing a tuxedo today? WRONG! ONESIE!

Sadly, all that glitters is not gold. There’s a design flaw in that using the restroom will require almost an entire disrobing. That may seem like a minor inconvenience at first, but when you have several liters of Mountain Dew Code Red (The One and True Gamer Fuel) itching to exit your bladder, that neck-to-crotch zip will infuse some hassle back into your daily grind.

Also, there’s a confounding omission of both poop flap and footies. Serious missed opportunity here, SteelSeries. Maybe that would’ve jacked the $100 price point even higher, but it’d have been worth it. It’s probably a widely held belief in society by now that warm feet and defecating with your pants on are both invaluable commodities.

Missteps aside, this onesie looks to be everything that anyone would need to be a pro gamer. It has the comfort factor that’ll keep you playing until your heart explodes. It has convenient pockets to house a host of Jack Link’s beef jerky. And, it (most likely) has the microfibers to whisk away even the boldest of Doritos crumbs.

Pro gamer status is just a onesie away, folks. You’re welcome.

Pro Gaming Suit [SteelSeries]

Brett Makedonski
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