I don’t get around to my Nintendo DS very often. It sits in a corner underneath my desk, happily collecting a thick layer of skin flakes. I blame it on Animal Crossing’s free enterprise asshole, Tom Nook. He takes all of my money and then asks for more. I don’t understand why the game won’t let me revolt against the Nook machine. I tried a letter writing campaign once to advise all the members of my community to sell their houses and live with me on the beach. I told them we could build huts out of bones stolen from the musuem.
The villagers didn’t respond to my message, so I shut off my DS and shoved it into that dark corner. If they weren’t with me, then they could just find someone else to pick the weeds and whack trees.
My DS won’t be lonely for much longer. Rockstar Leeds’ Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars has convinced me that I can have fun again. Even though Tom Nook won’t be in the game, I can pretend that every civilian I drill with my car has his stupid animal face and jerk smile.
And Amazon is going to make my imaginary Nook splattering all the more interesting. For a limited time, Amazon is offering an exclusive pre-order bonus. Every person that lays down the cash within the timeframe will get a bulletproof Inferno. It’s red, it’s fast, and it’s probably going to be the best car in the game. If you’re interested, check out Amazon’s page. It’s easier than getting out of debt in Animal Crossing.
[Thanks, Tom!]
