PewDiePie nearly has enough money to buy his soul back (Fauxclusive)

One more healthy quarter and it’s his!

Earlier this week Forbes Magazine listed the ten richest celebrities on YouTube and to the surprise of absolutely no one, gaming personality PewDiePie ranked as the top YouTube earner with more than $12 million dollars made over the last year. Shortly after the list was revealed, sources in Hell confirmed that this is nearly enough money for the Internet sensation to buy his soul back from the Devil.

PewDiePie, whose real name is Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg, sold his soul back in 2011 to achieve the current worldwide superstardom he enjoys today. According to Abaddon the Destroyer, a quirk in the contract PewDiePie signed with the Father of All Lies could make him the first human to successfully get their soul back from the Devil since Hitler.

“Originally you could only get your soul back in a fiddle contest, but we discontinued that practice back in the late 1970s because of that asshole Charlie Daniels,” the Angel of The Abyss explained. “That’s when we switched to our current monetary system. Normally, we require a worldwide celebrity to pay us $500 million dollars as well as promise us the blood of their first born child if they wish to get their soul back; but because this was YouTube, and remember nobody was making money on YouTube back then, we decided to give him a regrettably steep discount.” 

If the next 12 months can be equally profitable for PewDiePie, Abaddon says he’ll not only be able to buy his own soul back but also purchase the soul of a lesser Internet celebrity, like JonTron or theRadBrad.

CJ Andriessen
Just what the internet needs: yet another white guy writing about video games.