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Breaking down its own performance during last week — November 22 through Nov. 28 — Nintendo says it sold 1.5 million gaming systems during the craziest of crazy shopping periods. That’s estimated to be 550,000+ Wii consoles and 1,000,000+ DS and DSi handhelds.

Or in mind-boggling, we-effin’-print-money lingo, Nintendo sold more than 2.5 videogame systems every second during Thanksgiving week. Go ahead, blink. While you were wasting your tragic life doing that, hundreds of dollars were spent on Nintendo systems. You’ll never be this successful.

Your mother and I aren’t mad, we’re just disappointed is all.

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