Nintendo DS to harness the raw power of THE ABACUS!

Tip lord BlindsideDork sent us a link to this Famitsu page with details of a brand new Nintendo DS game that very well may be the greatest artistic triumph known to modern mankind.

A GAME ABOUT AN ABACUS!

For years we dreamed about it, never daring to entertain the thought that it might just be possible. Only with the kind of innovation that the DS can bring have our hopes and deepest desires been realised. Let me put this into perspective, if you are yet to grasp the true magnitutde of the news: It is a GAME about an ABACUS!

There’s plenty of Japanese on that page, none of which I can understand. However, I know human nature, and such knowledge has given me the ability to deduce what the most likely translation could be. By my estimates, the full translation of all that text is thus:

“IT IS A GAME ABOUT AN ABACUS FOR THE SAKE OF GOD! YOU MUST MAKE A PURCHASE OF WILDEST FANTASY GIVEN FORM! THIS IS WHY YOU MUST BUY EVERYTHING! ABACUUUUUUS!” 

Halo can sod off for all I care. That’s it. Nintendo have won at videogames forever.

An abacus. 

Jim Sterling