A new free channel is coming to Nintendo’s little white waggle box that aims to enrich your life by giving out free relationship advice … seriously! It will also read your fortune and tell you what you should be eating, basically turning the Wii into that page at the back of a tabloid newspaper that menopausal women love reading at part-time call center job.
The Wii’s “Today & Tomorrow” channel will cater to all your Horoscope needs and love life anxiety, scheduled to hit Europe on September 9. When people ask me why the Wii makes me bury my head in my hands and sigh really loudly, I now have the perfect thing to show them.
“Your friends and family can join in the fun, as up to six people can take part by registering their Mii character and date of birth,” explains Nintendo. “You will all then receive a detailed daily fortune in five categories: love, work, study, communications and money. The next day’s fortune is displayed every evening, so you can check ahead of time before a big day.
“As well as providing your fortune, the Today & Tomorrow Channel can also give you lifestyle tips, including activities that can improve your daily life and suggestions about what to eat, all based on your horoscope. You can even check the compatibility of different Mii characters for the day. Use this feature to see how you will get along with your friends and family — could be useful if you are planning a long car journey!”
For f*ck’s sake.
Published: Sep 8, 2009 03:00 pm