Monster Pillar v. Sheep Swarm violence on the rise

Authorities urge calm

Increasing reports of violent altercations between swarms of pink bouncing sheep and miscellaneous monsters stacked on one anothers’ heads have area residents fearful. Local authorities have urged calm on the matter and encouraged residents to avoid traveling through decrepit ruins in broad daylight while police summon additional officers from surrounding counties.

Attempts by this station to contact members of the sheep swarms or monster stacks were not responded to at press time.