Midway has announced every character that will appear in Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe. Over the last few months we’ve watched the list grow from Sub-Zero all the way to Kitana (who packs a mean lump), but we’ve never really been able to ascertain the scope of all the characters in the title until today. The notable new entries into the game are Baraka, Kano, Shao Kahn, Deathstroke, Darkseid, and Lex Luthor.
As you can see, there is clearly one character missing from the game. This missing character is the reason why more than three people went to see the Mortal Kombat movie and the reason why the world discovered that hitting videogame characters in the junk is fun. The game is missing Johnny Cage.
Honestly, I’m filled with sorrow. This is a depressing day in which I believe the videogame industry has taken a huge step backwards. Sure, we can hail new games like Braid and Aether for their lofty art goals, ambiguous stories, metaphysical meanings and decent execution, but we also cannot forget that games like Mortal Kombat have been paving the road of creativity since their inception. Johnny Cage has always been central to the vision of corporal punishment that Mortal Kombat loves to promote.
Without Cage, where would ball punching be? Someone please tell me.
