Forbes.com recently released the Forbes Fictional 15 which is their annual listing of fiction’s richest characters and ending the list in the bottom two spots were video game characters, Lady Lara Croft and Mario Mario.
Lara Croft took the number 14 spot with a net worth of $1 Billion gained through inheritance and antiques. I was unimpressed to see that Forbes tried to make a couple of jokes about Lara by fusing her with actress Angelina Jolie. Lara deserves better than that.
Archaeologist, Countess of Abbingdon and author of travel books is feeling heat from recent United Nations report, which singled her out for trafficking in stolen antiquities. Peruvian, Egyptian, Kazakh authorities seeking recompense. British tabloids having field day; now calling Croft “Tomb Raider.” Countess Croft keeping stiff upper-lip; discouraging snooping reporters with a pair of 9 mm pistols. Although romantically linked with a series of American movie stars, including Brad Pitt and Billy Bob Thornton, Croft remains childless; rumored to be considering adopting a Malawian baby. New member.
Mario finished in the number 15 spot with a net worth of $1 Billion gained through commodities. Why was Mario put after Lara dispite the similiar net worth? Probably because of his rags to riches story; people tend to shun you when you claim you made your forture in the Mushroom Kingdom, while battling goombas. Makes Mario sound like a drug dealer or something.
Mustachioed Italian plumber leaps onto Fictional 15 after decades of collecting gold coins from sewers, clouds, oceans. Dabbled in other trades, including boxing referee, race-car driver, golf pro and doctor, but maintains the best way to get rich is smashing brick blocks. Humble profession belies many accomplishments: defeated King Koopa, repeatedly saved Mushroom Kingdom, rescued damsel in distress from giant, barrel-flinging ape. Twin brother Luigi remains closest companion. Says Mario, enthused about newfound wealth: “Woohoo! It’s-a me, Mario!” New member.
Also added this year to the number 9 spot was fictional Prince Abakaliki of Nigeria who we’ve all encountered in our email inbox once or twice. This wealthy prince has a net worth of $2.8 Billion and is willing to share it with a truthworthy stranger who is willing to help him get his hands on his father’s foreign bank account.
The first son of the late KING SANI ABAKALIKI, the former head of state of Nigeria; presently under protective custody as a political refugee. Despite his confinement and rumored physical and psychological torture, PRINCE ABAKALIKI does have a broadband Internet connection and keeps busy sending out countless e-mails to complete strangers who he hopes will cooperate with him in a mutual transaction. Specifically, PRINCE ABAKALIKI wants to get his hands on his share of his father's estate ($50.000.000 US DOLLARS) which has been deposited in a fund with an unnamed foreign security company. Once a trustworthy stranger has opened communications with PRINCE ABAKLIKI, he will send a LETTER OF AUTHORITY to them, so that they may clear the fund and invest the money for him. For their services, the lucky stranger will receive 30% of the $50.000.000 US DOLLARS. New member.
The number one spot was given to Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks, who took first place from Santa Claus this year. Santa Claus had to be removed from the list completely after children got upset for Forbes calling him "Fictional". Bad Forbes, how dare you ruin a childhood staple! Next you'll claim the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are really the children's parents. You monsters!
Check out the full list of the Frobes Fictional 15 .