Man turns to life of crime to feed addiction … to Final Fantasy figurines …

I can’t stop laughing about this entire thing, so I’l let a quote from this article fill you guys in;

A Mesa man was arrested Wednesday night on suspicion of stealing his grandmother’s credit card to buy thousands of dollars worth of video game-themed figurines.

Oh, and then it gets better;

Seaman told police he had access to his grandmother’s credit card and admitted to using it with out her permission online to purchase $10,087.83 worth of merchandise from video game Web sites, according to police.

Police said they seized twenty boxes of Final Fantasy figurines as evidence from Seaman’s bedroom before placing him under arrest.


Lance Seaman (shut up! I know what you’re thinking!) is severely effed up. I’m not one to make apologies for the actions of an addict, but I think grouping this guy in with all the rest of the junkies hard up for a fix is an insult to all those poor, dishevelled fiends. When the police raid your home, there’s a certain outlaw-appeal to being found with a coffee tin full of smack, but when they smash down your door and find a bedroom full of half-nude metrosexual video game characters immortalized in easy-to-clean plastic, you’re almost guaranteed daily prison sodomy.

About The Author
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.
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