Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be gamers

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If there aren’t enough bad things in the world to expose our children to, now some soccer mom has created a line of t-shirts to tell other people what items their kids cannot have, like sugar or television.

I spent my childhood wearing a pink track suit that will forever haunt me to the day I die, and the founder of Please Don’t Feed My Kids Sugar.com thinks that having her children sport a red shirt with the words “Sugar Free Kid” will win those points with the cool toddlers. What was she thinking?

Worst of all, these dumb t-shirts ideas are the “Xbox Free Kid” shirts to keep the child from playing videogames; like somehow video games are going to destroy their young minds, and turn them down the path towards a life of crime and drugs.

I think maybe the peanut free shirt isn’t such a bad idea because food allergies can result in death, but if you’re a parent who is so worried about your kid playing videogames or watching TV when they are in the care of someone else, then maybe you should keep them confined to a cage until they’re 18. At least then, they wouldn’t have to suffer the humiliation of wearing such idiotic shirts.

I plan to have kids one day, and when that time comes, my kids will be the ones beating up the kids with the “Xbox Free Kid” shirts … while wearing their “Future Gamer” shirts.


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