Machoke and Machamp don’t have pants on, actually

Nor lil dicks!

I feel clowned upon. Damn near 20 years later and you want to tell me that Machoke and Machamp don’t wear body-building speedos? That those perfectly placed black trunks are, according to Pokémon canon, just markings shared by all the species and not a respectful nod to the beautiful culture of watching Arnold kick Lou Ferrigno’s ass in Pumping Iron?

What does a Machop/choke/champ’s skin even feel like are they just like plastic codpiece smooth like a Barbie or maybe a bit leathery like cranking off an old football? Wait, what — what are the belts? They’re wearing fucking belts those aren’t even markings!?

Machoke and Machamp Have a Deep, Dark Secret [Kotaku]

Steven Hansen