Kids hang kitten with videogame controller, sherrif accuses GTA of rape

Welcome to the logic train, our first stop is Sensible City! Two nasty little six years old brats somehow found themselves playing Grand Theft Auto, then had the bright idea of pelting stones at a kitten and hanging it with a game controller. This has led the local sheriff to claim that GTA lets you rape women. INTELLIGENCE AT WORK!

The two six-year-olds were at East Mesa trailer park (obviously it was a trailer park), presumably totally unattended by their parents. A neighbor found the dead cat, allegedly hanging from a tree by the wire of a controller. After Deputies had been alerted, the two boys apparently admitted to stoning and hoisting it up with the wire. 

Sheriff Joe Arpaio came in with the intelligent, measured and totally not bullsh*t response: “This game allows players to kill cops and rape women. It’s little wonder why they perpetrated such violence against that little animal.”

So far, it seems that the parents have received no blame for this, in fact the only real mention of the parents is the medical expense they face should the children require counseling, as if we should feel sorry for them. Not that one of the parents could do much, being an illegal immigrant. 

The boys are also too young to be charged by animal cruelty and child protection services declined to help because the case is “outside the normal criteria.” So, what we know is that a bunch of ignorant parents let children unattended in their trailers, playing adult games and hanging cats, and nobody will do a damn thing to discipline them.

Yet videogames somehow get the blame. Classy.

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James Stephanie Sterling
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