Okay, so we made up the “blow” part. But he’s headed down that path, right?
A 13-year-old Texan boy ordered a credit card in his dad’s name. That’s already pretty cool. But he wins because he ordered a couple of hookers from a local escort service. He also, of course, picked up an Xbox 360 so that he could play Halo 3 with these hired ladies of the night.
Wherever you are right now, Ralph Hardy of Newark, Texas, you deserve a high five. Other news outlets may cast a negative light on your “adventure,” but not us. We’re envious of the $30,000 shopping spree that you took your friends on. And sure, you were convicted of fraud and given three years’ worth of community service. But you’re an internet legend now.
The hookers were let off the [*cough*] hook because “the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.” Lame, guys!
Who spoiled this epic party? It was the hotel staff, who was stuck serving the lucky little f*ckers. I guess jealousy got the best of the staff, who had been delivering Fritos and Dr Pepper up to their hotel room. The sly little bastards told staff that they were rolling in cash from a recent victory at a World of Warcraft tournament and wanted to get some relaxation.
When the police showed up, they found $3,000 in cash, the Xbox 360, a ton of games and gadgets, and of course, our ladies of the night. Ralph said that his dad wouldn’t mind this epic blowout, as he didn’t receive a birthday present. Dad said that he had a surprise trip to Disneyland lined up.
Mr. Hardy, your son had much more fun that night than any Disneyland trip.