It seems that Jack Thompson, my favorite person in the whole wide world, is an avid Game Informer reader. After recently reading an article printed in the magazine, Thompson is worried that he’s being parodied by Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto IV … and he’s not happy about it. Comfortable to sling childish insults at his opponents, Thompson just can’t handle being on the other side of the mockery, which is ironic considering what a joke he is.
An early mission in GTAIV charges you with the task of tracking down and killing a lawyer who blames violence on videogames. Now, that could be anybody, surely … snigger. Regardless, Mr. Dish It Out But Can’t Take It has put quill to paper and dribbled out yet another one of his love letters to Take Two, which reads as follows:
I have this morning read with interest an article on page 80 and 81 of the September 2007 issue of Game Informer magazine which was generated when, according to its author, Rockstar Games “stopped by the Game Informer offices for an impromptu hour-long gameplay session with the Xbox 360 version of the game.”
The showcasing play of the game to Game Informer revealed that the first killing mission of the “hero” of the game, Niko, is to kill a certain lawyer. When Niko comes into this lawyer’s office, having used subterfuge to do so, Niko pulls a gun on the lawyer who says, “that the firm supports the second amendment and that ‘Guns don’t kill people. Video games do.’”
…The fact that the lawyer, killed on Niko’s first mission, would bring up video games, makes it clearly a reference to me… This is not the first time Rockstar Games and Take Two have targeted me in this fashion. Take Two references to me as a bisexual pedophile on its corporate website…
Wait … you mean Jack Thompson isn’t a bisexual pedophile? That’s news to me. The fact that he’s a whiny little crybaby, however, is not news. Still makes me laugh though. We’re all going to think about you and laugh when we play Grand Theft Auto IV, Mr. Thompson, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
[Danke to GoldenDonut and BS3 Owner]