Jack Thompson goes after Halo 3 now

Well it doesn’t take him long, does it? The Halo 3 beta was released only last week and that pathetic scavenger Jack Thompson has already leapt upon Microsoft, penis erect with rage, in an attempt to try and take the spotlight away from games and place it firmly back upon himself — because watching this disturbed old jester masturbate for our viewing pleasure is clearly the most important thing in the world.

Jack Thompson, the middle-aged man who thinks about children playing in their bedrooms, has issued one of his insane, dribbling demands to Bill Gates himself. That’s right, the twatspanner is threatening Bill Gates with legal action.  

It’s the usual deal: Thompson once again seems to believe that it’s up to the games industry to make sure that the retail industry do their jobs by not selling games to minors, and issues yet another ill thought out, preposterous legal threat. But … this is Bill Gates. This could be hilarious. For more, and for the words of Jack Creepy McCreepy Thompson himself, hit the jump.

[Via GameAlmighty

“Here’s the deal, Mr. Gates: Either Microsoft undertakes dramatic, real steps, through its marketing, wholesale, and retail operations to assure that Halo 3 is not sold, via the Internet and in stores, directly to anyone under 17, or I shall proceed to make sure that Microsoft is held to that standard by appropriate legal means. I have done that before successfully as to Best Buy, and I shall do so again as to Microsoft and all retailers of Halo 3.”

The usual garbage, right? Yes it’s annoying to read, and infuriating on many levels that this ignorant, possibly psychotic individual is shooting his mouth off in yet another desperate ploy for TV time, but this is something I’ve been waiting for. This is the day that Jack Thompson tries to threaten Microsoft. With any luck, they are going to slaughter him for this. 

Now, I’m no fortune teller, but if I may, I’d like to try and predict Microsoft’s unofficial response to Jack’s little letter:

“HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

AHA!

AHA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

That is all. 

 

Jim Sterling