Huttastic Jabbas and Where to Find Them
Han Solo and Obi-Wan Kenobi have their own forthcoming standalone/spin-off movies, so why not other characters from the Star Wars universe? Makes sense, right? This may explain Disney & Lucasfilm’s nonsensical decision to develop a Jabba the Hutt movie.
There is no director or writer attached at the moment since the project is just in development stages. I can only assume they will attempt some sort of Godfather-esque space mafia movie. Bib Fortuna is a consigliere like Tom Hagen, and Salacious Crumb thinks he’s Sonny but is really just Fredo.
Who am I kidding? This will probably be some schlocky piece of garbage like Brian De Palma’s Scarface. Which is a perfect opportunity to post this training montage from The Turkish Star Wars synced to “Scarface (Push It to the Limit)”.
There are so many other Star Wars spin-off movies I’d rather see. A movie about Wedge Antilles and Rebel Alliance fighter pilots would be keen, for instance. Or a movie about Chirrut (Donnie Yen) and Baze (Jiang Wen) from Rogue One: A Star Wars Story would be pretty fun.
Sure, Jabba the Hutt is a familiar name, but who wants to watch a movie about him? He’s just this amphibious space-slug. An obese, sleazy, slimy, trashy, power-hungry, misogynistic despot with an inflated sense of entitlement.
On second thought, the movie seems pretty timely given certain figures in the news.
As a fast food tie-in, the Jabba the Hutt movie may take a cue from Spaceballs and reach out to Pizza (the) Hut. Who knows–maybe Jabba can release a bad Pizza Hut-exclusive album like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles did with Coming Out of Their Shells.
Do you look forward to a Jabba the Hutt movie? Are there any spin-offs you’d rather see instead? Have you pushed it to the limit or said hello to someone’s little friend? Chime in below.