In today’s episode of Pregame Discharge: Final Smash Direct and PlayStation Classic games revealed

Open your mind’s eye to the mastery of stopping time with full body oil coverage

If that fedora-wearing loser couldn’t stop Lyle, then what makes you think time could? What even is time? I think this “time” is a false concept. But, you know what isn’t? This very video game news show you’re watching now! Which today, includes the following:

  • Tomorrow we’ll have one final Smash-related Nintendo Direct!
  • PlayStation Classic announces its full lineup of games!
  • 2B from NieR: Automata is in Soulcalibur VI, and more!

But, to make matters even worse, Nintendo has announced a Direct for tomorrow after our wonderful weekly news programming has a chance to discuss it. They think they can use “time” against us? Against Lyle? Against me!?

They can play their little game, with their silly Grinch rumors and talk of “dates,” and this stupid thing called “November.” I ain’t buying it. I know this is targeted specifically at Pregame Discharge. Now, maybe it’s the lack of sleep over these past 141 hours talking, but I know a ploy and conspiracy when I see one.

I won’t stand for it. Soon, we shall conquer this false concept of “time” with enough body oil and caffeine — we will both be unstoppable.

Discharged question of the week:

Which character are you most excited for in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate?

Dan Roemer
Local video person. I've been enjoying and dabbling in Destructoid since 2014, became staff in 2017, co-hosted Podtoid, and my spirit animal is that of wild garbage. Disclosure: I backed Shenmue 3 on Kickstarter and I'm a current Patreon supporter of Nextlander, NoClip, and Mega64.