To all the mothers out there who are gamers, or who have birthed many a gamers, we here at Destructoid want to wish you a happy Mother’s Day. It’s tough being a mom for a gamer — we’ll ignore your cries for help because we’re busy dungeon crawling, meanwhile you lay stranded under a gigantic pile of laundry. At least now you can look back on your children and see how much time and money they’ve spent on videogames. Be proud! They boosted the economy!
Alright, enough trying to justify our horrific spending habits — it’s time for thanks. First, I’d like to thank all the moms who are gamers. You took the time to get into your child’s interests (or, you’ve just always been interested in games, which makes you extra cool) and you’ve managed to be both a gamer and a fully functioning mom (and maybe even a worker too). I can barely manage to be a gamer and a student, yet you manage to do so much more.
As for those mothers who weren’t gamers (like mine), thank you for being so understanding about letting us play games. It took a great amount of restraint not to freak when you see your child sitting in one position for several hours, only moving their thumbs. You were kind enough to wait on line to get us the games that we wanted for Christmas, no matter how hard it was to find. Also, thanks for not installing those ridiculous time-lock devices on our video games.
For those mothers that happened to produce a child that spent too much time on the Internet, and wound up writing for “that place with the robots and games,” some of your kids have some choice words for you.
Mom, I’m sorry for all the times that I begged you to buy me games that we couldn’t afford when I was younger. I still feel pangs of guilt that I made you take back Bubble Bobble, which you bought for my 6th birthday, and exchange it for Deadly Towers. I was a wretched child. But all that time wasted on games seems to be paying off, and I owe this to you.
You raised two sons on practically nothing, and we’ve grown to be the most ass-kickingest men on the planet. We are who you’ve made us, and we’re proud of who we are — almost as proud as we are to have you for our mother. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day.
To my dearest mother,
I know you will never read this since we do not cover Lock n’ Chase for the Intellivison on the site, but on the off chance you get linked here from southernliving.com I just wanted to say I love you very, very much. Not only are you the best Mom a guy could ever ask for, but for years you put up with my constant, “I’m coming! I just need to get to a save spot!” every time you called me downstairs for dinner. You are amazing and I hope you have the best day ever!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms that bought us those games we desperately needed and Happy Mother’s Day to all the gamer Moms that pwn our butts in Halo 2. You are truly the best Mothers any gamer could have. Oh … and by the way, we bought you a Nintendo Wii. We swear we bought it for you. Really.
Nex doesn’t have anything to say to his mother, because he was in fact created from a birthing matrix inside of a ship when his home planet was destroyed.
Hi, mom! I hope that in 2017, when you figure out how to work the Internet, this message finds you well!
I have fond memories of the Game Boy (with Tetris!) you purchased for me for Christmas in 1989. I remember how little I played it that first year, because you became hopelessly addicted to the Russian puzzler. You sat on the couch for what seemed like months, pushing to clear lines on level nine/five — oh, how you smiled at the sight of a full line of Russian dancers!
It’s 2007, Mom, and you haven’t given me my Game Boy back. I never had a chance to play Pokemon Yellow like I had wanted, but now I’m over it, because my testicles dropped. You can keep the Game Boy, mom.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Thanks for all the years of love and support that you have given me. Thank you for understanding what goes on here at Destructoid and cheking out the site even though you arent a gamer. It really means a lot to me. I love my momma bear.
Side note: My mom actually asked me if I had an extra 360 to send her
because she wanted to play. This is a big jump.
[Ed. Note: Ron’s mom is unbelievably awesome. Thanks so much for helping us out a ton at CES. Also, thanks for buying Dale, Fronz, and I lunch. You rock, Charlesy!]
For the readers, anything you want to say to your mothers (where they probably won’t read it)? Also, any mom + video game stories would be good.