Halo 3 sales signal end of Japanese Empire

Recommended Videos

After almost 5,000 years of civilized culture (preceded by 25,000 years of hunter-gatherer triflings), the island of Nihon-koku — ‘Japan’ to you lazy round-eyes — may soon sink into the ocean or be horribly destroyed by some kind of hellish firestorm.

Recent Japanese sales records are out and in accordance with ancient harbingers of doom prophecy, Halo 3 has topped a Pokémon title for the highest selling game in all of Japan.

To quote a completely fictional prophetic haiku:

When Microsoft tops
Nintendo’s tiny creatures,
Nippon shall perish.

Considering the entire thing was written in the blood of a sparrow, you sorta have to believe it, y’know? 

Hit the jump for the week’s sales data (written in the blood of Mark from Accounting).

[Via Game|Life

[UPDATE: Haiku made even less historically accurate to appease you pedantic bastards.] 

Courtesy of NeoGAF:

01./–. [360] Halo 3 – 59,000 / NEW
02./03. [DS] Pokemon Fushigi no Dungeon: Toki – 55,000 / 440,000
03./01. [PSP] Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII – 54,000 / 649,000
04./–. [DS] Tamagotchi Petit Petit Omisecchi Minasankyu! – 54,000 / NEW
05./04. [DS] Pokemon Fushigi no Dungeon: Yami – 46,000 / 389,000
06./–. [PS2] Bleach Blade Battlers 2nd – 31,000 / NEW
07./–. [DS] English Test 2 – 28,000 / NEW
08./–. [PSP] Yugioh Duel Monsters GX – 28,000 / NEW
09./–. [PS3] Oblivion – 27,000 / NEW
10./02. [PSP] Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops+ – 25,000 / 119,000


Destructoid is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article How to get Unova Stones in Pokémon Go
The Unova Starters in Pokemon Go.
Read Article Hideo Kojima receives gorgeous handmade Ludens ring from fan
Sam Bridges wearing purple Ludens sunglasses in Death Stranding.
Read Article You’ll need to beat Like a Dragon Gaiden to play the next game’s demo
Like a Dragon: The Man Who Erased His Name
Related Content
Read Article How to get Unova Stones in Pokémon Go
The Unova Starters in Pokemon Go.
Read Article Hideo Kojima receives gorgeous handmade Ludens ring from fan
Sam Bridges wearing purple Ludens sunglasses in Death Stranding.
Read Article You’ll need to beat Like a Dragon Gaiden to play the next game’s demo
Like a Dragon: The Man Who Erased His Name
Author
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.