GTA IV Claims its first murder victim! Archduke Franz Ferdinand shot!

Months before its inevitable release on home consoles, murder simulator GTA IV has already claimed its first victim: Austrian Archduke, Franz Ferdinand. The near century long belief that the Archduke’s assassination was carried out by one, Gavrilo Princip, and integral in starting the chain of events that led to the first World War, has recently been shattered by a New Mexico native’s recent confession.

Phillip “GTA 4-Life” Mendelson, recently admitted to local authorities that it was he, and not Princip, that carried out the 1914 shooting that took the life of the Archduke and his wife (see photo). When further questioned about the events, Mendelson had this to say:

“Ain’t nobody in the world a bigger GTA fanboy than me, and I’ve been waiting a long time to play as the stereotypical Russian mafia guy. I wasn’t too worried that Rockstar was going to change their main character, but I started thinking to myself ‘What if there was no stereotypical Russian mafia guys to base Niko Bellic on? Just what if things had been different?’ It was at that point that I felt, as a fan of the series, that I had to insure that the blatant, over the top stereotype of an Eastern European (i.e. Russian) mafia guy didn’t somehow disappear.”

Upon further investigation, it was found that Mendelson had traced history back to a few key events in the past that may have had a long term effect on creating his beloved stereotype. According to his research, the Russian mafia flourished and gain prominence during the twin revolutions that occurred in Russia in the year of 1917. The outcome of these revolutions saw the rise in power of Lenin’s Soviet Russia, which eventually led to the hard line communism the country is known for, and the systems eventual collapse. All of these events helped in the creation of today’s Russian mafia, and the Russian mafia stereotype.

Knowing that these turn of events in Russia’s history were sparked by the beginning of WWI, which itself being sparked by the assassination of the Austrian Archduke, Mendelson realized that without the assured death of Franz Ferdinand, the stereotype used by GTA IV may have never even existed

“As a fan of the series, and stereotypes, I wasn’t about to let that happen,” says Mendelson. 

Stunning! 

*His exact means of time travel have yet to be revealed, but we here at Foxtoid are pretty sure that it can also be blamed on videogames!

Dyson