Games of the week for 06/29/08: Too orangey for crows edition

 
It’s a sign of your adulthood when you grow old enough to remember things that are now banned, like this Kia-Ora orange juice ad that was running when I was a child. Now whisked away from TV because of its evil, evil racism, this tale of a boy, his dog and many thirsty crows will likely never be aired on British television again. God bless YouTube.
 
In other news, we played videogames. If you want to know what we played, you’re going to have to hit the jump.

DMV: Besides Looney Tunes: Cartoon Orchestra and Wacky Races taking up a good chunk of my free time (thanks, Eidos), I got to play several games from Crave. Check the recent previews to see those games. I finally popped in Soul Nomad and the World Eaters again, in order to try and finish it up. I missed this game so much — still a ton of fun. Also, Marvel vs. Capcom 2 just came in the mail. Any of the editors want to kick my ass in it? Bring a Dreamcast controller over.

Hamza: I’ve been playing with myself.

DMV: Oh, I’ve been doing that, too. Not playing with myself, but with Hamza.

Savant: Touhou shmupin’. I’ve been trying my damndest to finish both Perfect Cherry Blossom and Imperishable Night on Hard, but I’m not making very much headway. The bullet patterns never cease to amaze me.

Oh, and I just wanted to take a moment of everyone’s time and say DIABLO III! F***ING FINALLY! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go be the creepy/weird guy who camps out in front of a store months in advance for a game with no announced release date.

(I hope there’s a Secret Cow Level!)

I hear that Brad is helping Hamza play with himself. I hear it’s a pretty fun game and all, but I also hear its short and has very little replay value.

Nick: Guitar Hero: On Tour has been cramping my hands; Rock Band has been bothering my neighbors; Too Human I can’t say anything about yet; and Commando 3 on XBLA has been mindlessly fun. I’m also playing the “Schedule meetings for E3” game, which has been taking up a lot of my time.

Dyson: I’m playing Zack and Wiki still. I’ve made it to what I believe to be the last level and, like Samit mentioned last week, it’s a bitch. The motherfucker is like every puzzle in the game all at once. I also spent last night playing some of the SSFIIT HD Remix beta. Aside from SF Alpha 2, this is my all-time favorite Street Fighter. The beta is kinda janky (it hard-locked my system twice), but it’s a beta, so what would you expect, right?

I also played with Hamza till I unlocked the “Sparkle Pony Rider” achievement. All I got for it was 5 Gamerpoints and a deep sense of shame.
 
Niero: Earth Defense Force! *ducks*
 
Fronz: I have finally been introduced to the Warcraft 3 mod Defense of the Ancients, and I’m loving it. But now sometimes when I’m playing DotA I’ll turn the monitor off, close my eyes and keep clicking, and pretend I’m playing Diablo III. Other than that I’m still driving around in Grand Theft Auto IV and ignoring the story as much as possible. Also, Rev’s newest HAWP has me going back to beat Professor Layton and the Curious Village.
 
Colette: Earth Defense Force and a little bit of Lego Indiana Jones. Not too much game time this week, I’m sorry to say, but the announcement of Diablo 3 pretty much made up for that.
 
Samit: I don’t think I turned my PS3 on at all this past week. I’ve been really busy with a lot of “life stuff” (such as preparing for next month’s family vacation to India). However, I did play some MLB 08: The Show at a friend’s house, and I also beat some dude in Guitar Hero: Aerosmith at the launch party on Friday. Other than that, though, absolutely nothing. *sad face*
 
Gameboi: Like Samit, this week wasn’t as full of videogame fun as I would have liked. Other than briefly firing up the GameCube for some Viewtiful Joe, my game time was barren 🙁
 
Grim: I was visiting my relatives for the majority of this week in Iowa of all places, and didn’t have a whole lot of time to game. What little time I did have was spent on Burnout Paradise, Devil May Cry 4, The Simpsons Game, and Banjo-Kazooie.
 
Samit: Amazing. You were “visiting [your] relatives for the majority of this week”, and you still played twice as many games as I did.

I think I’m going to go play some Half-Life 2 now, just to make up for the lack of it this past week.

 
Hamza: I’m still playing with myself, contrary to what Savant said. How would he know, he can’t see shit anyway.
 
Dale: I restarted replaying both the first Disgaea and the first Fatal Frame
 
DMV: Which version of Disgaea?
 
Dale: Your mom. 
 
Jonathan: A big 50% off sale at Best Buy led me to purchase Nacho Libre for the DS and Every Extend Extra for the PSP. Two more different games you couldn’t hope to find on god’s green earth, but both are worth experiencing in their own ways.

Also playing Blast Works on a regular basis, just for the player-created content. I hear a lot of people are having trouble finding this game, as many outlets don’t carry it. They had a few copies left at Best Buy, so if you’re still looking for the game, that’s probably the way to go.

Finally, there’s The World Ends With You. Seriously, what is this game? Never have I played a game that is so simultaneously broken and innovative. Never mind the fact that in battles you control two characters on two different screens simultaneously, but the longer you go without playing the game, the more experience points you get.

That’s like being told I’d get in better shape if I stopped exercising and only ate at McDonalds. I just can’t wrap my head around it.

 
Jim: Ha, I officially terminated my relationship with The World Ends With You last night and shall not be playing it again. The game would have been cool enough if it was all on the touch screen, but I’m sorry, I don’t have four sets of eyes and two brains, and I don’t want to concentrate on two separate games at once. It’s a shame, because I really want to like the game, but I just can’t get into something so broken. They tried to do too much at once and it failed.
 
Jonathan: I hear you, Jim. It’s actually not a bad idea to stop playing the game, as if you ever do play it again years from now, you’ll get TONS of experience.

Also, I just turned the top screen on auto. Otherwise, I would have quit as well. 

 
Jim: I did that at first, but I kept getting “E” ranks after every battle because the stupid bitch up top can’t fend for herself. The only way to get a C rank or above for me was to play it manually, but it just wasn’t fun. Innovation is great and all, but don’t fucking drown me in the shit.
 
Colette: Finally, two people that agree with me on The World Ends With You.
 
Jim: Also, while I am at it, fuck Pokémon. It was great at first until I found out about EVs and IVs and CATCHING 85 DITTOS TO BREED WITH! 85! I wanted to try having, like, a good team, so I could have battles online and stuff, but no way. I’ll go up against these people who have spent months breeding and releasing and breeding and “EV Training” and “IV calculating” and catching 85 Dittos and Hidden Power breeding.

This game is for people with so little life that they are actually *decreasing* in age, and instead of dying, will turn into a baby one day.

 
Jonathan: Jim, you crack me up.

I still like Pokémon, but I would never, ever consider playing the game competitively. So many people use hacked Pokémon anyway that it doesn’t even matter how hard you work at getting a good Poké team together.

Maybe you’ll like the game more once I give you that Scyther you wanted. I can also score you a Mime Jr if you want. 

 
Dyson: I’m always surprised when I hear people over the age of 20 saying that they play Pokémon. Not that they did, but that they still do. In my fragile mind, it would be the same as if Jim were recounting an episode of Sesame Street that he had watched … yesterday.
 
Orcist: It’s a game about cockfighting — how is Pokemon not awesome? And why haven’t we done any Pokémon/Michael Vick mashups?

Anyway, this week I wrapped up Half-Life 2: Episode 2, thereby completing the single-player quadfecta of awesome in The Orange Box. Other than that, a little Subspace Emissary with friends, some Ninja Gaiden II, trying to finish up Persona 3 and Final Fantasy III DS.

 
Dyson: I’m not saying it’s not awesome. I’m just saying that, “Aren’t we a little old to still be playing Pokémon?” In my mind, it’s a game for kids. I may be wrong, but that’s how it is designated in my old man brain.
 
Hamza: Every time anyone talks about Pokémon, I think back to middle school where a bunch of us would gather behind a building after school and trade/fight Pokémons. Level 251 Mewtwo for the win!
 
Jonathan: I think the first time I played Pokémon I was 22, and I fucking loved it.

 
Incidentally, I also love Sesame Street, but only the old-school stuff. 
 
Justin: I’m still playing through Metal Gear Solid 2 and I have to ask: Did anyone else find the fight with Fatman to be incredibly tedious? Not because it was difficult, or anything, but because he was so hard to hit and knock down thanks to those stupid rollerblades.
 
DMV: I found Crying Wolf to be more tedious in MGS4. Also, Mr. Rogers for the mother-fucking win.
 
Jim Sterling: You can say “aren’t we a little old to be playing Pokémon,” if you don’t get offended when someone asks you if you’re a little old to be playing Zelda. 😉
James Stephanie Sterling