Games of the week for 04/19/09: Rushed edition

I am late with this, so I’m just going to phone it in. You can blame Ninja Blade, which I am trying to finish so I can review it. However, Ninja Blade is kind of bollocks, so I’ve just been swearing at it all day. So far, From Software’s latest effort gets a “stop glitching out, you stupid c*nt” out of ten.

This is one of the many games that have been played this week. Should you wish to learn of even more games, you can hit the jump, where all your desires shall be made flesh.

Concelmo:

I have been traveling all week so I have had plenty of time with my trusty Nintendo DS. What’s in the good ol’ game slot? Retro Game Challenge, Lock’s Quest, and Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon.

 
Also, some more of the incredibly good Valkyria Chronicles for when I get home.
 
Chester: Debbey and I are trying to 100% our Rock Band 2 tour, I shot at some skinjobs in Terminator: Salvation (well, slices of the game’s levels), and at some point today I intend to participate in the Fat Princess beta.
 
Rice: Started replaying MGS4, and the game excites me in all the same ways as before. Besides that, I’m getting into Dead Space on my PS3 and loving it all the same as when I played some of it on the 360. I can’t wait for this week to be past, when I can take a day to veg out and play games instead of writing for 14 hours a day.
 
Cantler: I’m “playing” My Stop Smoking Coach on DS for review, and showing my PS3 a little attention this week with a few sessions of the Fat Princess beta and some Super Stardust HD. Also visited an actual arcade recently and plunked some tokens into Giga Wing, Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo, and Galaga.
 
Grim: Finally got into Patapon, and I think I’m in love. I also got around to downloading Super Stardust Portable, which causes quite a lot of hand pain, but is playable, as well as this interesting indie game called Judith. I’m pretty sure at some point late Friday night, I attempted to beat Mega Man X using only the Mega Buster, but I can’t be certain.
 
Razak: I played Chronicles of Riddick all week. I hadn’t played it before so digging into it the first time was amazing. I can’t believe no one has nailed first-person fisticuffs that well since then. Little disappointed by the end, but definitely one of my favorite games this year so far. Then I dove into MadWorld finally. Just started though, but the black and white is far easier to discern than I thought it would be; plus, pulling a man’s heart out of his chest really never gets old.
 
Ross: Been playing both Demigod and Zeno Clash for review. Also been getting in some Street Fighter IV, and getting more and more frustrated because I REALLY want a TE stick. TF2 also, as usual, but sadly no L4D this week.

My new addiction is Dark Spire for DS. It’s INSANELY hard, and I have no idea WTF is going on, and I love it. Makes me miss Wizardry.

 
Sterling: Played the Fat Princess beta. I can confirm that the princess is quite fat. Also been playing Ninja Blade for review, but it’s tough because you can’t save mid-mission, and I actually have a fucking life. I’m sure people with zero commitments or aspirations will be able to devote the required time to its many QTEs, though.

What else? I bought myself a DSi and have been making myself sound exactly like Starscream thanks to its recording tools. Also been playing Henry Hatsworth, but am getting a bit sick of its bullshit. There’s been plenty of Killzone 2, of course. Finally been learning how to play as the Scout, although it depends on what level and what gametype otherwise he’s a bit shit. Helghan Industries Search & Retrieve makes him a beast.

 
Bennett: Been spending most of my time split between Plants vs Zombies for PC and Class of Heroes for PSP. Also messed around with the Fat Princess beta a little bit last night, but only single-player …. I have a feeling I need to check out the multiplayer before I pass any judgement, but it’s really cute so far.
 
Knotts: Bollocks to anyone that says Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars‘ “failure” is a sign that mature games can’t make it on the DS. A real sign that mature games can’t make it on the DS is the “failure” of Retro Game Challenge.

I finally put some solid time into the game, and I can’t believe how perfect it is for people over 25 who grew up loving 8-bit games. These are some of the best fake NES games I’ve ever played, especially Haggleman 3. Guadia Quest is also pretty mind-blowing.

Also played some Military Maddness, Super Punch-Out!!, Animal Crossing: City Folk, Resident Evil 2, Art Style: AQUIA, and Rune Factory:Frontier.

 
Sarkar: Earlier in the week, I played a bunch more of Burnout Paradise — amazingly, I actually haven’t touched MLB 09 The Show in a couple of weeks because I’ve been working toward my Burnout license (less than 20 wins to go!). I’ve also continued to make my way through Auditorium, the indie Flash game that I wrote about back in January, for review. I’m on the seventh act (of 15), and I finally seem to have hit a wall on one of the levels in this act. I’m going to go back to it in a little bit, once my I can wrap my head around it.

Finally, I played some of the Fat Princess beta during the past couple of days. On Friday, I played with myself, and on Saturday, I played with others (Topher and Conrad). I’ve been having a lot of fun so far, although the beta is pretty buggy and its online play doesn’t work all that well. Still, I absolutely adore everything about the game’s design, from its art direction and cel-shaded look to all the hilarious names for standard menu choices (options are labeled as “Twiddly Knobs”; single-player is called “Play With Yourself”). The in-game announcer is also quite funny at times (“They’re in our base, killing our dudes!”), and though I’ve only played the game for a couple of hours at most, I can tell there’s a lot of depth to it that I haven’t come close to grasping.

Also, CATAPULT.

Jim Sterling