Games industry objectifies women to sell violent products: Cliffy B testifies

CARY, NORTH CAROLINA: It is no secret to anybody that the videogames industry objectifies women and promotes the sexual abuse of females in its products. In the seedy world of interactive entertainment, sex sells. But while the sleazeballs at the top rake in a hefty profit, the tools of their vile trade are left to suffer.

Take Cliffy B, for example, lead designer on the smash hit, ultra violent videogame Geared for War. When she first joined Epic Games, Cliffy was an attractive, young, vibrant woman full of ideas and love for her trade. Now, with just over three months experience in the industry, she has seen the true face of the world she lives in.

“It was horrible,” recalls Cliffy. “At first they made me feel like I was respected for my game ideas, but at every press event, every trade show, it got a little more demeaning. They’d tell me to loosen a shirt button, or push my chest out more when I talked about the Unreal Engine. When they asked me if I knew how to ‘squirt’ and that maybe I should practice, that’s when I’d had enough.”

The Unreal Engine is a type of in-game car that Epic has designed for its characters to drive around in. It is very popular in the industry, and this is mostly thanks to Cliffy’s “assets.” A look at the gaming blogoverse, which is a term I just made up, shows just how sick this objectification has become. 

“It’s true, they talk more about my firm supple bosom and luscious, firm-yet-malleable ass more than the games I work on,” sobs Cliffy, the tears splashing on her sultry chest and running in delicate, salty rivulets down her tight cleavage. “The worst moment came when a comic was released onto the Internet, in which I performed fellatio on a group of gamers. This is how gamers see me.”

Disgusting. Will the sexual depravity and breast-fixated cruelty of the gaming world ever end? 

[On the subject of sex: Don’t forget to catch FOX’s own Tits, and How Awesome They Are tonight at 6pm. Only on FOX!]

Jim Sterling