Fugitive caught after stuffing DS games down his pants

If there’s one thing worse than being an escaped criminal with a heroin habit, it’s being STUPID escaped criminal with a heroin habit. Daniel Larson, despite being incredibly idiotic, became Lee County, Florida’s most wanted fugitive after getting out of jail with a fake ID and violating his undeserved probation (seriously). The moron was finally caught after he attempted to steal $120 worth of DS games from a local Walmart.

The thirty-two-year old imbecile, whose lists of crimes include armed robbery, larceny and kidnapping, attempted to leave the Walmart store with a whole host of portable games stuffed into his pants and shoes. Presumably he was about as subtle as a bright green penis, since he was quickly stopped by a loss prevention officer. He shoved the officer and tried to escape, but was brought down and handcuffed. 

Larson said he was planning to sell the games to support his 15-year drug habit. Because everybody knows that the fastest way to get your hands on some skag is to swap it for a copy of Imagine Babyz

The nature of his escape was dumb enough, but the re-arrest catapults this to legendary status. I hope he escaped again. I’d love to see how he tops this performance.

Jim Sterling