Star Wars: The Old Republic will definitely turn all of your children gay, according to right-wing Christian lunatic group, the Family Research Council. FRC president Tony Perkins recently criticized BioWare’s MMO for being full of homosexual activism that will “Star Warp” impressionable young minds with its promise of same-sex relationships.
“In a new Star Wars game, the biggest threat to the empire may be homosexual activists,” he said. “… Since the announcement, homosexuals have been celebrating the news, but parents sure aren’t. On the game’s website, there are more than 300 pages of comments — a lot of them expressing anger that their kids will be exposed to this Star Warped way of thinking.”
Perkins encouraged parents to join in the Facebook pressure and claimed that the game had “gone to the dark side.” Because if there’s one thing Darth Vader liked, it was a good hard cock up the arse.
Sounds like Perkins could do with one of those, actually. I volunteer to personally give him a quick handjob if it helps him calm the f*ck down and stop worrying about what a bunch of man-shaped pixels are doing to another bunch of man-shaped pixels.