F*cking heads chopped off and goblin arsef*cking: Gallagher’s idea of videogames

Noel Gallagher has such a way with words, I find. Never before has modern pop music had such an eloquent and evocative speaker, and never before has the videogames industry been summed up so sublimely. Here is a quote from the Oasis star, indirectly inventing the greatest videogame concept ever while talking about Guitar Hero:

“If it puts little plastic guitars into kids’ hands and fires their imaginations, I think that’s a good thing. It’s harmless fun, innit. I’d rather that genre of video games than somebody getting their f*cking head chopped off with a samurai sword while getting f*cked by a goblin up the arse with a laser. Do you know what I mean?”

Well, I have no idea what kind of videogames HE’s been playing, but I know I bloody well want them too. I think Decapitating Gobling Arsef*cker could be the sleeper hit of the year if it were ever released. Still, at least Noel is looking out for the kids, he’s always been such an outstanding example to them.

Jim Sterling