Everquest movie picks up writer, Nex picks up gun, holds to head

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While it’s almost a decade too late to capitalize on Everquest’s dopamine-fuelled popularity, news just came in via AICN that the movie based on the game based on dozens of movies based on the works of J.R.R. Tolkien has picked up a writer.

Michael Gordon — best known for the script for the innacurate history lesson turned comic book turned movie 300 — has been hired to write an adaptation for the film, which considering just how little the game has in the way of plot should be the literary equivalent of etching The Old Man And The Sea in a block of granite with his penis. Avi Arad, former head of Marvel Studios, has also signed on to produce the flick, though that really only reveals that we can expect a cameo from Vinnie Jones in a role to be determined almost entirely by Internet memes.


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Author
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.