Earn $$$ lying about videogames

Hate videogames? Love deceit? FOXTOID is offering YOU the chance to win hundreds of dollars and/or the Bible of your choice in exchange for stories about how videogames made you dig up the corpse of deceased paint-based funster Bob Ross and perform an act of oral love upon his happy little tree.

Simply email FOXTOID with your harrowing story and, if possible, provide a photograph of yourself so our crack art team can work on a factual rendering of the event; if we like what we see (and you’re hot), we’ll call you straight back.

And remember, you can catch FOXTOID’s series on inappropriate sexual misdemeanors involving the corpses of gentle celebrities every Tuesday.

Sex is wrong … unless it’s on TV.

Jim Sterling